The Art of Being You Workshop – 16th January 2018

Delphinus tmc - Coaching, Psychotherapy, Training, Speaking

Delphinus tmc – Coaching, Psychotherapy, Training, Speaking

The Art of Being You – “Confidence in our ability to think and to cope with the challenges of life. Confidence in our right to be happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants and to enjoy the fruits of our efforts”. Branden 1992

Confidence is important to most of our daily lives and most of us battle with it and often struggle to find it. We can find ourselves in a vicious circle and at a loss of how to grow our confidence to enable change. Limited confidence relates to our self-belief and self-esteem and impacts on how we see ourselves and how we then behave and interact.

Great news…..self-confidence can be learned and built up. Whether you are working on your own confidence or those around you, taking the time to work and develop will be worth it!

The Art of Being You explores how to create a more confident you through good healthy habits. It will develop balanced self-confidence that is right for you based on your strengths, ability and what is realistic for you. It will enable you to make informed decisions and stretch yourself.

Book Your Tickets today – book before the end of November and save £10:

Resilience, Joy and a Much-Needed Beer!

beer-931826_1280

 

What can I say – here we are sprinting into Autumn at a rate of knots, a sudden bump into this seasonal change.  One day its summer, the next day the leaves have turned into a beautiful array of colour and the weather cannot make up its mind! 

So, to reflect on the summer seems a dim and distant memory…or not!  This leads me to share with you a small journey on our holiday in Ibiza.  This year, I booked a hotel (a new adventure as we normally self-cater!) which in itself set a couple of challenges for me.  I love my work which involves me being engaged and energised for clients, colleagues and delegates who attend our training, and so typically on hols, I enjoy being away from the crowds to re-energise.  This year I realised this did not always excite my girls who are very sociable and love meeting people!! – Hotel it was…. 

We arrived early hours of the morning after a very twisty and turny transfer, not long in time, challenging for my stomach though!!  The driver had asked if I’d like him to stop as apparently, I had turned a very disturbing colour!  On arrival, we checked in and we were excited to see our home for the week…a room with balcony to chill out on…. or not.  We opened the door into a very small room with a balcony looking onto a dirt bank.  Disappointed is one word for it.  Like you I was ready for my hols and was staying on the positives with a rocky start.  The next morning, I asked if we could be moved and explained the room I believed I had booked.  The manager (Emma who became my new hero) said they were full. At this point, to mine and everyone else’s surprise, I spontaneously burst into tears!!  Imagine…not something I had predicted or typically do!  It was at this point I realised how tired I was and in need of respite.  Emma stepped in weaved her magic and we moved to a fabulous room, so our holiday began. 

So, it took a good couple of days for me to wind down and relax…my girls, on the other hand, thought they had landed in heaven – a pool, others to play with and ice-cream and slushies on tap!! Happy days! 

Mid-week we decided to go to the hippie market – my heaven!!  We taxied there and at the advice of the hotel, we would catch a taxi back from the taxi rank outside the market, apparently, they would only take bookings for the airport.  A fabulous day was had by all – much spending and acquiring of fabulous things we decided to call it a day.  The weather looked quite stormy, so getting back to the hotel for drinks and dinner was a good plan…… 

On arrival to the taxi rank, we quickly learned that people had been waiting for at least an hour for a taxi.  It was about a quarter to six at this stage.  I called our hotel for advice and at their suggestion went to the hotel opposite the taxi rank to order a taxi, which they duly did – “10 minutes madam!” 

The rain had started and it was very black overhead.  The wind was picking up and we could hear rumbling in the distance.  At this stage, I need to share with you that my girls are 12 and 10, tired and hungry and missing the pool, and my Mum (70) is terrified of thunder and lightning.  The taxi rank queue opposite was getting very restless and fractious. 

20 minutes passed and no taxi. I asked the hotel to chase and they did – “it’s on its way.”  It arrived shortly after…and so starts the first challenge…a couple of people sprinted over from the rank to secure the taxi.  I calmly spoke to drive who said he had a booking for Vicky – brilliant…When asked my destination, I responded and the taxi driver said, “no I’m not going there I finish at 7 and it‘s too far” so took another fare.  I was a little surprised….and still fairly calm.  The rain was now torrential and thunder settled in overhead.  I had asked my girls to look after their Granny in the foyer of the hotel – a responsibility to distract them and ensure my Mum was as ok as she could be.  I called our hotel for their advice and they were unable to do anything – except suggest walking into the town to the other taxi rank – about a 25-minute walk.   

We are now in the throes of the storm.  There was little to no movement of the taxi rank queue, no taxis appearing and I honestly had run out of ideas.  After much debate, we agreed to walk into the town…..it was torrential, my youngest was jumpy with the storm and my Mum well she never ceases to amaze me…was so brave.

We walked for about 25 minutes, soaked to the bone and found the taxi rank, to be met by people we had seen at the other rank …still waiting.  I parked my family undercover and stood in the queue, racking my brains…Suddenly I remembered we had family who had property on the island and knew people …. a callback to the UK to explain the situation, Enid gave me three numbers to call for lifts…hope was still alight…. I called the numbers and explained our situation.  I can’t believe how kind and helpful people are…they all rallied and called around for us…unfortunately on this occasion with no results, mainly due to the storm causing havoc on the island.  We were now very stuck, wet, hungry and tired and for the first time, I was actually freezing cold.  I had been in contact with our hotel throughout and made one last desperate call asking if there was anyone who would like to earn some money and collect us…. they called back and Curro – one of the maintenance team was on his way to collect us…I can’t even begin to tell you the relief. 

All the time this was happening, my girls were coming to check I was ok, looking after their Granny and not once got upset, or moaned.  Curro arrived at a quarter to nine, did not speak English and was now my second new hero.  He was lovely and sped us back to the hotel in time for a late supper and a much-needed beer…and that was just Curro as the football was on!!  On getting back to the hotel around 9.45, I gave Emma the manager a massive hug and thank you…Although this did not seem enough for the support and help she had provided throughout.  She ensured we were looked after for the rest of the holiday. 

For me, this was over three and half hours of high pressure and stress for all of us….and a massively proud reflection on the incredible resilience of my Mum and my girls.  At no stage was there any wobble.  All the way through they stayed positive and looked on it as an adventure…which it was!! 

Thank you seems to not capture the feelings of gratitude the whole thing brought to me.  To know that people are so kind, supportive and will go the extra mile brings a deep sense of joy that as human beings we all have capacity to help others, find our resilience and dig deep when we need to find solutions. 

A More Confident You…

Delphinus tmc - Coaching, Psychotherapy, Training, Speaking

Delphinus tmc – Coaching, Psychotherapy, Training, Speaking

A more confident you comes from a combination of a positive mindset, positive feelings and belief in your abilities, skills and experience. Low confidence is a result of many things and can inhibit you, your business and your everyday. Confidence can increase and decrease, with some days being higher in confidence than others. Our aim is to support you to increase your confidence with consistency.

Join Vicky Bailey, Delphinus tmc, who will guide you through a workshop to make a difference to you. Leaving you with more knowledge and techniques to develop your confidence Vicky will explore…

· How to increase your self confidence

· Existing habits and behaviours hindering you

· How to use positive mindset

· Ways that work for you to move forward

Book your place today – *** EARLY BIRD OFFER *** Book before the end of July to take advantage of our early bird booking £40 +VAT. Prices after the 31st July are £50 +VAT.  Book your place today – https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/a-more-confident-you-tickets-35798216429

 

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

As we get back to work after a weekend, the most popular question you will hear will be “how are you?”

Be honest, how often have you answered that question with “I’m fine” when inside you are anything but fine?

You are not alone, it is the answer we expect people to want to hear and resist the temptation to seek help.  Do people really want to hear “well actually I am not good??? Truthfully, we are not allowing others to help – how can they if they are not aware of how we are feeling.

 

Image result for our wholeness actually depends on the integration of all of our experiences including the falls.” brene brown

 

With mental health and wellbeing being a hot topic right now in the media, we thought we would take this opportunity to see how you deal with your emotions and resilience?  Do you ask for help or is it something you internalize?  We would love to hear your thoughts.

Do you notice responses from others?

We are so busy in our lives, how can we expect someone else to spot we are unhappy if we cannot spot the signs in others, or indeed ourselves!

Here is a little challenge for you – as you go through the day, take 5 minutes to consider your own emotions and then take another 5 minutes to see (how those emotions are playing out in how you are behaving). What difference does this make?

Empower Your Teams – Invest in Training

For most businesses, now is the time to invest in staff training for the year ahead. No doubt you want to employ and retain the best staff so regular training is a must!

Team Training - Empower your Teams - Delphinus tmc

Whilst job / technical training is vital to ensure you are keeping up with all the latest developments, have you considered the benefit of training your teams to improve how they work together, managing behaviours and boosting morale?

At Delphinus tmc we are passionate about helping business owners to see how effective teams can be if they are all working towards the same goal. No team will be a success unless there is an understanding about what the firm wants to achieve and how their individual skills and behaviours can impact each other.

A successful team = a successful business

Our 4 reasons why every team can benefit from training

Harmony – everyone is unique. We all act / interact differently when working on our own and working in a group. Team training can help break down the barriers to understanding different characteristics and methods to ensure the team is working as a whole.

Communication – whether the team is large or small, there needs to be good communication. Everyone needs to know their responsibilities and what is expected of them. If conflicts arise, good communication can often solve the issue before it gets out of hand.

Vision – If the business vision and values are clear, every team member can play their part in the success of the business. Training can highlight the goals and opportunities for the year ahead so that everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet. Think of a car journey, we all like to know where we are going and how we are going to get there!!!

Empowerment – the biggest impact we see through training is the empowerment of the team. When staff feel more supported they feel valued and this can bring higher motivation and more willingness to find new ways to ensure success for the business.

Results – working as part of a team will bring in a variety of results which will then empower the team to progress further. Training can facilitate more consistency of results and enhance team dynamics.

Over the years we have worked with a number of organisations to boost and motivate their teams, especially where there has been an element of change. We have seen first-hand the transition teams have gone through both individually and as a group – all for the betterment of the business.

Are you looking to build a winning team?

Are you curious to find out more about team training could be of benefit to your business– call 07786 936625 or email vicky@delphinustmc.co.uk

Everyone is talking about Mental Health and yet …..

banner_8

Over the past 12 months there has been a large and very much-needed increase in awareness in the media for Mental Health in the UK.  Every week there are new articles & news stories that are promoted either online or in print media and the barriers to seeking support seem to be being broken down, albeit very slowly.

I was recently asked to write an article on mental health  – which was subsequently produced.  Unfortunately it was not printed. The editors enjoyed and liked it and wanted more tips and support writing into the article.  As you may appreciate the article, all be it receiving great feedback, did not get revised to give away more tips…..what it did was prompt my thinking towards what is it we really seem to want? The conclusion: a quick fix for as little investment of time and resource as possible.

As passionate as I am about mental health, emotional well-being and people being the best versions of themselves, this passion is underpinned by several beliefs, one being that if we can take responsibility we can create choice and in turn relieve our heightened states of stress.

Stress at Work

We are all aware of and band around the words wellbeing, mental health, emotional resilience…we all like to grow our knowledge and gain information, surround ourselves with facts and figures…notice in others if we feel they are not ok.  How often do we notice, take time and give ourselves a chance to notice our own emotional health.

4 out of 5 of us feel anxious, stressed, depressed or stuck at some point in our lives.  The impact can be and is significant on us.  We often have the answers inside and need the time, space and expertise to find them and move forward.  Our responsibility is to ourselves first and then those around us at work and home.  If we can do this at work for ourselves, colleagues and staff and at home for ourselves, family and friends, life suddenly frees up and we become more emotionally agile.

I have recently been working with a group of General Managers in the NHS, supporting them in an action learning group as part of their management training.  The group was fabulous and worked well together to support each other with some challenging day-to-day work issues.  The common themes were, stress and pressure of work load and time pressure.  The key challenge with this being these issues inhibited people fulfilling their jobs to the best of their capability and ability, and therefore not enjoying their work.  The group sessions were able to give them time and space to review challenges, expand their choices and thoughts on how to manage issues raised and support each other.

My reason for sharing this…we can look at stats, we can look at theory…the most powerful way of seeing peoples’ stress diminish is in action.

The feedback from the group was positive:

  • unanimously they agreed that they want to keep meeting beyond the project as the benefits for them were so impactful
  • knowing that they were not in isolation with some of their day-to-day challenges
  • realising that the benefit of coaching and learning sets to enable them to feel happier and less stressed
  • knowing that they were responsible for their own changes and that they had begun to make changes to support themselves at work, through gaining the support they need

“Whether mental distress is caused in work or out of work we spend nearly half our waking hours in work; because of this it makes sense to have a stronger, healthier and more emotionally resilient workplace.”

Paul Farmer – Chief Executive, Mind

We can take responsibility for ourselves and those around us.  Day to pressures can be managed and not result in stress.  When we think, feel and react at our best we perform well and in turn diminish stress.

Key steps towards looking after yourself:

  • Notice – what you need and be curious
  • Connect – take the time to listen to yourself and those around you
  • Be active – take up the challenge – once you know there is an issue, take action.
  • Take notice – be aware of your own and your colleagues behaviors
  • Keep learning – as mental health changes, make sure you have the skills to respond
  • Creativity and play – find creative ways to get you and your staff and colleagues to talk.

Enjoy being the best version of yourself as often as you choose to be.

Delphinus Diction…

As I continue to work with clients – I realised there are some fantastic and creative expressions and words used by people to describe how they are feeling and thought I would share.

“sustainable denial” (David aged 50)

I think this speaks for itself on its meaning.  How true is it for us to stay in this place, even when we know a change will help us

“Crired” (Sarah aged 13)

So tired it makes you cry

“hangry” (Gemma aged 13)

So hungry and angry at the same time

“proper fine” (Dylan aged 12)

When I’m safe and everything is good

“properly selfish” – Vicky Bailey

Putting yourself first and listening to what you need

Pancakes – an update

Pancakes - Delphinus tmc

For those of you who responded to Pancakes – thank you.  I showed my daughter Katie and she was quite surprised and I think chuffed.

As you might imagine she continues to use her metaphor.  The other night whilst settling down to sleep she had not had a great couple of days.  She announced that her pancake had burnt, was black and fallen apart…oh and she had put it out with beer!! (what can I say!)  As we chatted I asked her what she’d like her pancake to be like.  Mmmmmm she looked me in the eye and said “light, fluffy, with Nutella, lemon and sugar.”

“So,” I said “what is stopping you creating that pancake and not burning it”

She looked me straight in the eye and said – “that feels better I can go to sleep thinking about my lovely pancake”

“You can!”  We were both settled and content.

Merry Christmas From Delphinus Tmc

I think sometimes we reflect at the end of something…so a lot of us will be reflecting on the year that was 2016, as we move through into another new year and “new start”.  Interesting isn’t it that we neglect to reflect and review as we go as often as would benefit us.  Within the work we do at Delphinus without daily reflection we will not be able to work to our best.  There are days when we are flying and there are days when we need to re-energise.  As we walk the walk of our work, our daily reflect informs us what has been going well, what has stopped us in our tracks and what we can learn a we grow.

We want to share our fun and our joy, our insights and our learning.  So for me the biggest learning is that which I gain through working with clients in both coaching and therapy.  Their dedication, motivation and determination to move through and be amazing, at peace and be themselves is an inspiration everyday….for that I thank you.

Christmas posses many things, and often more challenges than we realise…we wish you well, peace and most of all be kind to yourself.

Delphinus tmc, Vicky Bailey, Coacging, Psychotherapy & Training

 

 

 

 

 

 
Vicky

It’s all about Pancakes – or more importantly the choices we can make…

Pancakes - Delphinus tmc

 

This month I thought I would talk about Pancakes – or more importantly the choices we can make…

My eldest daughter has recently made the transition to secondary school…or high school as it seems to be known now!

At 11, having been to a village primary school with a total of 76 pupils, a natural born worrier and hoping to grow up far too quickly, of she went with confidence. School is walkable from our home and so the first few days as overzealous mum, I walked with her….although where I could walk to became progressively further and further away from the school doors!  Until after the first week my chaperone skills were made redundant.

Now about 4 to 5 weeks in, she’s had a few wobbles and melt downs announcing that she does not wish to grow up and would like to go back to primary school. On our weekly walk back from guides, quieter than usual, I enquired if she was ok….”I’m not sure how to explain it she said….it may sound a bit weird..the best way I can tell you is…”

“My life is like a pancake. When I was at primary school there was Nutella, lemon and sugar and I liked all of the fillings and you were there to help me choose.  Now I’m at high school, there are loads of fillings and they tasted different and not quite right…..oh and if you want to you can use this with your clients!”

Wow…I was bowled over by her clarity in her analogy.  It took me a couple of minutes then I smiled and said….

“So taking that on… What you now have is a choice of flavours to taste …some you will like and some you will not…it’s ok to taste different flavours and then choose which ones you want and like…….it’s about choice.”

She looked at me, smiled with what appeared to be relief.

A few days later, my daughter said she wasn’t feeling great and said that in her pancake there was Nutella and sugar and chilli!  She really does not like chilli!  So …we discussed what to do about the chilli and she was reminded that there is always a choice of the flavour combination is not working.  Realising this she announced she was going to take out the chilli! Today…a calmer and smilier girl!

I’m sure there will be other flavour combinations which will work and which will taste horrid as she settles down into her big school and the turbulence of realising that there is a big world in which she fits and has choice of what flavour she wants in her pancake.

So…I wanted to share this with you for three reasons.

Firstly I’m proud of my daughter and her ability to process and find a way through what is a tough transition.

Secondly to remind you…me and all of us that there is simplicity in the fact that we can try different flavours, we can enjoy the ones we love, expand our repertoire and avoid the ones that leave a bitter taste.  We have a choice and being brave and daring to choose will lead to many enjoyable and satisfying movements.

And thirdly because my daughter said I can share this!

What flavours of pancake do you enjoy?

Vicky