A More Confident You…

Delphinus tmc - Coaching, Psychotherapy, Training, Speaking

Delphinus tmc – Coaching, Psychotherapy, Training, Speaking

A more confident you comes from a combination of a positive mindset, positive feelings and belief in your abilities, skills and experience. Low confidence is a result of many things and can inhibit you, your business and your everyday. Confidence can increase and decrease, with some days being higher in confidence than others. Our aim is to support you to increase your confidence with consistency.

Join Vicky Bailey, Delphinus tmc, who will guide you through a workshop to make a difference to you. Leaving you with more knowledge and techniques to develop your confidence Vicky will explore…

· How to increase your self confidence

· Existing habits and behaviours hindering you

· How to use positive mindset

· Ways that work for you to move forward

Book your place today – *** EARLY BIRD OFFER *** Book before the end of July to take advantage of our early bird booking £40 +VAT. Prices after the 31st July are £50 +VAT.  Book your place today – https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/a-more-confident-you-tickets-35798216429

 

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

As we get back to work after a weekend, the most popular question you will hear will be “how are you?”

Be honest, how often have you answered that question with “I’m fine” when inside you are anything but fine?

You are not alone, it is the answer we expect people to want to hear and resist the temptation to seek help.  Do people really want to hear “well actually I am not good??? Truthfully, we are not allowing others to help – how can they if they are not aware of how we are feeling.

 

Image result for our wholeness actually depends on the integration of all of our experiences including the falls.” brene brown

 

With mental health and wellbeing being a hot topic right now in the media, we thought we would take this opportunity to see how you deal with your emotions and resilience?  Do you ask for help or is it something you internalize?  We would love to hear your thoughts.

Do you notice responses from others?

We are so busy in our lives, how can we expect someone else to spot we are unhappy if we cannot spot the signs in others, or indeed ourselves!

Here is a little challenge for you – as you go through the day, take 5 minutes to consider your own emotions and then take another 5 minutes to see (how those emotions are playing out in how you are behaving). What difference does this make?

Empower Your Teams – Invest in Training

For most businesses, now is the time to invest in staff training for the year ahead. No doubt you want to employ and retain the best staff so regular training is a must!

Team Training - Empower your Teams - Delphinus tmc

Whilst job / technical training is vital to ensure you are keeping up with all the latest developments, have you considered the benefit of training your teams to improve how they work together, managing behaviours and boosting morale?

At Delphinus tmc we are passionate about helping business owners to see how effective teams can be if they are all working towards the same goal. No team will be a success unless there is an understanding about what the firm wants to achieve and how their individual skills and behaviours can impact each other.

A successful team = a successful business

Our 4 reasons why every team can benefit from training

Harmony – everyone is unique. We all act / interact differently when working on our own and working in a group. Team training can help break down the barriers to understanding different characteristics and methods to ensure the team is working as a whole.

Communication – whether the team is large or small, there needs to be good communication. Everyone needs to know their responsibilities and what is expected of them. If conflicts arise, good communication can often solve the issue before it gets out of hand.

Vision – If the business vision and values are clear, every team member can play their part in the success of the business. Training can highlight the goals and opportunities for the year ahead so that everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet. Think of a car journey, we all like to know where we are going and how we are going to get there!!!

Empowerment – the biggest impact we see through training is the empowerment of the team. When staff feel more supported they feel valued and this can bring higher motivation and more willingness to find new ways to ensure success for the business.

Results – working as part of a team will bring in a variety of results which will then empower the team to progress further. Training can facilitate more consistency of results and enhance team dynamics.

Over the years we have worked with a number of organisations to boost and motivate their teams, especially where there has been an element of change. We have seen first-hand the transition teams have gone through both individually and as a group – all for the betterment of the business.

Are you looking to build a winning team?

Are you curious to find out more about team training could be of benefit to your business– call 07786 936625 or email vicky@delphinustmc.co.uk

Everyone is talking about Mental Health and yet …..

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Over the past 12 months there has been a large and very much-needed increase in awareness in the media for Mental Health in the UK.  Every week there are new articles & news stories that are promoted either online or in print media and the barriers to seeking support seem to be being broken down, albeit very slowly.

I was recently asked to write an article on mental health  – which was subsequently produced.  Unfortunately it was not printed. The editors enjoyed and liked it and wanted more tips and support writing into the article.  As you may appreciate the article, all be it receiving great feedback, did not get revised to give away more tips…..what it did was prompt my thinking towards what is it we really seem to want? The conclusion: a quick fix for as little investment of time and resource as possible.

As passionate as I am about mental health, emotional well-being and people being the best versions of themselves, this passion is underpinned by several beliefs, one being that if we can take responsibility we can create choice and in turn relieve our heightened states of stress.

Stress at Work

We are all aware of and band around the words wellbeing, mental health, emotional resilience…we all like to grow our knowledge and gain information, surround ourselves with facts and figures…notice in others if we feel they are not ok.  How often do we notice, take time and give ourselves a chance to notice our own emotional health.

4 out of 5 of us feel anxious, stressed, depressed or stuck at some point in our lives.  The impact can be and is significant on us.  We often have the answers inside and need the time, space and expertise to find them and move forward.  Our responsibility is to ourselves first and then those around us at work and home.  If we can do this at work for ourselves, colleagues and staff and at home for ourselves, family and friends, life suddenly frees up and we become more emotionally agile.

I have recently been working with a group of General Managers in the NHS, supporting them in an action learning group as part of their management training.  The group was fabulous and worked well together to support each other with some challenging day-to-day work issues.  The common themes were, stress and pressure of work load and time pressure.  The key challenge with this being these issues inhibited people fulfilling their jobs to the best of their capability and ability, and therefore not enjoying their work.  The group sessions were able to give them time and space to review challenges, expand their choices and thoughts on how to manage issues raised and support each other.

My reason for sharing this…we can look at stats, we can look at theory…the most powerful way of seeing peoples’ stress diminish is in action.

The feedback from the group was positive:

  • unanimously they agreed that they want to keep meeting beyond the project as the benefits for them were so impactful
  • knowing that they were not in isolation with some of their day-to-day challenges
  • realising that the benefit of coaching and learning sets to enable them to feel happier and less stressed
  • knowing that they were responsible for their own changes and that they had begun to make changes to support themselves at work, through gaining the support they need

“Whether mental distress is caused in work or out of work we spend nearly half our waking hours in work; because of this it makes sense to have a stronger, healthier and more emotionally resilient workplace.”

Paul Farmer – Chief Executive, Mind

We can take responsibility for ourselves and those around us.  Day to pressures can be managed and not result in stress.  When we think, feel and react at our best we perform well and in turn diminish stress.

Key steps towards looking after yourself:

  • Notice – what you need and be curious
  • Connect – take the time to listen to yourself and those around you
  • Be active – take up the challenge – once you know there is an issue, take action.
  • Take notice – be aware of your own and your colleagues behaviors
  • Keep learning – as mental health changes, make sure you have the skills to respond
  • Creativity and play – find creative ways to get you and your staff and colleagues to talk.

Enjoy being the best version of yourself as often as you choose to be.

Delphinus Diction…

As I continue to work with clients – I realised there are some fantastic and creative expressions and words used by people to describe how they are feeling and thought I would share.

“sustainable denial” (David aged 50)

I think this speaks for itself on its meaning.  How true is it for us to stay in this place, even when we know a change will help us

“Crired” (Sarah aged 13)

So tired it makes you cry

“hangry” (Gemma aged 13)

So hungry and angry at the same time

“proper fine” (Dylan aged 12)

When I’m safe and everything is good

“properly selfish” – Vicky Bailey

Putting yourself first and listening to what you need

Pancakes – an update

Pancakes - Delphinus tmc

For those of you who responded to Pancakes – thank you.  I showed my daughter Katie and she was quite surprised and I think chuffed.

As you might imagine she continues to use her metaphor.  The other night whilst settling down to sleep she had not had a great couple of days.  She announced that her pancake had burnt, was black and fallen apart…oh and she had put it out with beer!! (what can I say!)  As we chatted I asked her what she’d like her pancake to be like.  Mmmmmm she looked me in the eye and said “light, fluffy, with Nutella, lemon and sugar.”

“So,” I said “what is stopping you creating that pancake and not burning it”

She looked me straight in the eye and said – “that feels better I can go to sleep thinking about my lovely pancake”

“You can!”  We were both settled and content.

Merry Christmas From Delphinus Tmc

I think sometimes we reflect at the end of something…so a lot of us will be reflecting on the year that was 2016, as we move through into another new year and “new start”.  Interesting isn’t it that we neglect to reflect and review as we go as often as would benefit us.  Within the work we do at Delphinus without daily reflection we will not be able to work to our best.  There are days when we are flying and there are days when we need to re-energise.  As we walk the walk of our work, our daily reflect informs us what has been going well, what has stopped us in our tracks and what we can learn a we grow.

We want to share our fun and our joy, our insights and our learning.  So for me the biggest learning is that which I gain through working with clients in both coaching and therapy.  Their dedication, motivation and determination to move through and be amazing, at peace and be themselves is an inspiration everyday….for that I thank you.

Christmas posses many things, and often more challenges than we realise…we wish you well, peace and most of all be kind to yourself.

Delphinus tmc, Vicky Bailey, Coacging, Psychotherapy & Training

 

 

 

 

 

 
Vicky

It’s all about Pancakes – or more importantly the choices we can make…

Pancakes - Delphinus tmc

 

This month I thought I would talk about Pancakes – or more importantly the choices we can make…

My eldest daughter has recently made the transition to secondary school…or high school as it seems to be known now!

At 11, having been to a village primary school with a total of 76 pupils, a natural born worrier and hoping to grow up far too quickly, of she went with confidence. School is walkable from our home and so the first few days as overzealous mum, I walked with her….although where I could walk to became progressively further and further away from the school doors!  Until after the first week my chaperone skills were made redundant.

Now about 4 to 5 weeks in, she’s had a few wobbles and melt downs announcing that she does not wish to grow up and would like to go back to primary school. On our weekly walk back from guides, quieter than usual, I enquired if she was ok….”I’m not sure how to explain it she said….it may sound a bit weird..the best way I can tell you is…”

“My life is like a pancake. When I was at primary school there was Nutella, lemon and sugar and I liked all of the fillings and you were there to help me choose.  Now I’m at high school, there are loads of fillings and they tasted different and not quite right…..oh and if you want to you can use this with your clients!”

Wow…I was bowled over by her clarity in her analogy.  It took me a couple of minutes then I smiled and said….

“So taking that on… What you now have is a choice of flavours to taste …some you will like and some you will not…it’s ok to taste different flavours and then choose which ones you want and like…….it’s about choice.”

She looked at me, smiled with what appeared to be relief.

A few days later, my daughter said she wasn’t feeling great and said that in her pancake there was Nutella and sugar and chilli!  She really does not like chilli!  So …we discussed what to do about the chilli and she was reminded that there is always a choice of the flavour combination is not working.  Realising this she announced she was going to take out the chilli! Today…a calmer and smilier girl!

I’m sure there will be other flavour combinations which will work and which will taste horrid as she settles down into her big school and the turbulence of realising that there is a big world in which she fits and has choice of what flavour she wants in her pancake.

So…I wanted to share this with you for three reasons.

Firstly I’m proud of my daughter and her ability to process and find a way through what is a tough transition.

Secondly to remind you…me and all of us that there is simplicity in the fact that we can try different flavours, we can enjoy the ones we love, expand our repertoire and avoid the ones that leave a bitter taste.  We have a choice and being brave and daring to choose will lead to many enjoyable and satisfying movements.

And thirdly because my daughter said I can share this!

What flavours of pancake do you enjoy?

Vicky

Summer Reflections

Summer Reflections - Delphinus tmc, Coaching, training, Mental Health & Well-being

 

So how has your summer been? 

You may remember we sent you our thoughts on summer essentials…what to pack and what to leave behind!  How did you get on with your packing and what did you manage to leave behind?

Holiday Reflection
Have you managed to recharge and re-energise.  It’s an interesting process going on holiday with high expectation and emotional roller coaster, stressful before we even depart! Listening to some clients leading up to their holiday, their concerns seemed to be taking away from the purpose and enjoyment of actually going away.  So what were your observations and highlights?

Our invitation to you….please review and share your favourite book/programme/pod cast or game and of course any highlights and reflections.

Book Review
I was excited to be able to read the second book of three by David Michie – The Art of Purring, the follow on from The Dalai Lamas Cat, and I was not disappointed.  What makes you purr?  The challenge set by the Dalai Lama to his beloved cat, the book takes us on a journey to discover the answer.  It provides a formula for happiness, which on reading made a lot of sense!  It is written beautifully through the eyes of the Dalai Lama’s cat, who provides insightful, humorous and gentle observations on challenges faced and situations she finds herself in.  The conclusion is great and finding the answer leaves the reader with knowledgeable contentment of knowing what makes them purr and how to find peace, connection and balance.  I’m looking forward to reading the third and final book in the series – The Power of Meow.

My favourite quote that resonated with me was:

“what I don’t get…..there doesn’t seem to be a formula for happiness……..there is an equation….like most formulas it needs some explaining…..The formula is H equals S plus C plus V….happiness equals what’s called your biological set point, or S, plus the conditions of your life, C, plus V your voluntary activities. When you take the happiness formula overall, you can see that while there are certain things that can’t be changed, there are others that can.  The key focus should be on things you can change that will have a positive impact in your feeling of well-being”

The Art of Purring, David Michie

Pod cast
As an 80 ‘s girl through and through I thoroughly enjoyed catching up with Sarah Cox’s 80’s pod casts…although my singing was not appreciated by all – I still had fun!!  Highlight listening to the 12inch of Duran Duran Rio!!

Favourite Games
We are avid card players in our clan…..so our daily games provided much hilarity, concentration and on occasion heated and fierce competition.  We have successfully taught the younger members of the clan whist and rummy so we are now out of the woods on playing snap!!

Reflections and observations
No phones, no wifi, no emails……delightful….one hundred percent time for self and the clan.  The result, rested, re-energised, recharged and ready.
Laughter, fun and imagination were the highlights of our holiday.  Listening to the younger clan members play their adventure games in the pool which took us from being marooned on an African island to being dolphins on a fantasy island allowed a perspective of life to land into our busy and hectic worlds as adults.  Eating too much ice cream and enjoying meals together with lots of chatter and sharing of stories and challenging questions such as, “how did we get here on the planet?” and “did God really make us?”….

It was interesting to observe families out and about…I still am surprised at how many people are on their phone/iPods/gadgets when sitting down to eat together – forgetting how to communicate and connect with each other…or sitting and relaxing in the sun, how many people seem to have forgotten how play.

One thing we did each day was share what we were grateful for, with no repetition.  Give it a go for 14 days and see how you get on!!

We would love to hear about your adventures over the holidays and any reflections or changes you have made?

Vicky

Managing Change in the Workplace

Mental Health & Wellbeing - Delphinus tmc

People resist change often because the focus on what they are giving up or losing. Imagine if we embraced change and noticed what we can gain. Tony Robbins suggests, change is inevitable, progress is optional.

We all manage change everyday, so the real questions are how do we feel about managing change and how do we really handle change?

In recent times we have as a country witnessed significant political changes. These have had an impact on us all at a greater or lesser degree. Closer to home my daughter is transitioning from primary to secondary school – and in her world a massive change which has and will have its challenges. What changes are you experiencing at the moment and what is the impact of any resistance you may be feeling?

We are all creatures of habit. We function well when we know what is happening, where we are, our purpose and have clarity on the impact and benefits to us. If our equilibrium is challenged and we are unsure how something affects us or how it benefits us, we often find ourselves beyond our comfort zones.
To develop either as a business or person we need change and embrace a new normal to develop and succeed. We witness people’s reaction to this; they are often anxious, fearful, stressed, angry or demotivated and despondent. We very rarely see positive responses of opportunity or excitement at what the possibilities are from the changes they are experiencing. The other familiar response is that of blame. Some changes seem out of our influence and this can cause resentment. Our question is what can you take responsibility for in the situation? How will this support you through this change?

So how do we manage change to ensure we can have a choice and see our options…?

Key Principles

• Transparency
Often change parachutes into our day to day and happens so rapidly we do not have time to catch up. There is resistance of its impact. If we can see the change, know it’s happening, have information, gain knowledge and then realise how this will impact on our world, this often this softens the shock. A period of transition allows us to process what it means for us…which in turn allows us to reconcile the change into our day to day and realise a new normal.

• Communication
Being noticed, being spoken to and being involved and heard can help us to process any situation, particularly if we can see how a situation impacts on us and our options. Conversation seems to be replaced by emails and social media. Personal contact, conversation and time are fundamental to a successful transition and change.

• Reassurance
If we our equilibrium is knocked we can often feel out of our depth, in unknown territory, which then can lead to high anxiety, stress, fear, and disengagement. Personal contact, support and reassurance of the outcome in relation to our needs will again support the transition. It will build confidence in the process of the change and give opportunity for the new normal to feel and be gently introduced into our every day.

• Involvement
If we are involved in any change, decision to change and our thoughts and ideas taken onboard, this will support how we manage the transition. It does not guarantee our needs always met, it does support us to find options and choices in the changes happening.

Change will be a constant how we choose to support ourselves through it is the secret. Ask for the right support is crucial to a smooth transition towards the changes challenging you.

“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end” Robert Sharma

Again, the rapidness of the change can leave employees feeling unsettled, unmotivated and un-productive and business owners need to plan and manage the change effectively.

Companies that do not help employees manage change effectively often:

• Do not plan how the change will affect employees
• Do not have clear lines of communication
• Do not listen to employee views
• Do not evaluate how the change has impacted on their workforce

This is where Delphinus tmc can help!
By employing a Coach who is experienced in change management can be a beneficial plan of action for any businesses to undertake. The role of the Coach is to listen to all business owners and employees and help them individually and as a team to:

• Plan ahead for what the change will actually mean
• Assess skills and training requirements
• Open clear lines of communication
• Work with behaviours and the changing nature of their work-space
• Help prepare employees for the timings of the transition
• Plan for the future to ensure employees have a clear strategy for growth

Remember, employees who feel listened too and empowered are more likely to help an organisation transition and continue to be successful.
To find out more about how Delphinus tmc can help employees manage change more effectively, call us on 07786 936625 or email vicky@delphinustmc.co.uk